I was working at an advertising agency and I felt like a lost soul. My boss was screaming for slightest little thing. I felt scared and my body froze. When we as humans are stuck in a rut, we have no possibility of being connected to our creativity.
The manager explained for me that they had lost two big accounts (clients) so as I was the last one in, I had to go first. Sometimes we need something that can jolt us back into our power. As I was not happy at all at this job I actually felt released when I got the message, you need to leave. And since many years I was not really happy. I had this deep sadness inside. I didn’t feel any joby in my job. I was not in contact with my creativity and my strength.
When I lost my job I had already started my inner journey since a couples of years. I had participated in a couples of groups in personal growth and meditation at a center for groups & trainings in Sweden. In this center I found a book about Osho Meditation Resort in Pune, India. During the breaks I used to read this book and look at all the beautiful photos. While watching these photos I kind of knew that one day I will go there. After my therapist told me to go to Pune I finally did.
In the beginning of November 2002 I went to India 34 years old.
It was an incredible feeling to step out of the plane in the middle of the night, after such a long travel. The feeling I had was ”I’m home”! My whole body relaxed and I felt as if I had been there before, it felt so familiar to me.
After having collected my luggauges it was time to find my taxi driver that I had booked in advance. When I came outside of the building there was hundreds of indians with just as many signs, cars everywhere and total chaos. The interesting thing was that I was totally calm inside. I had full trust that I would find my taxi driver somewhere in this crowd of people, and after some time I did find him. We drove hours and hours in the middle of the night with fires allong the road everywhere which the indians use to keep themselves warm during the nights.
Early morning we finally arrived in Pune. I went to bed immidiately and fell as sleep. I woke up before lunch, the birds was singing, the sun was shining, the room was so beautiful I had never seen anything like this before in my whole life. It felt like it was a dream, but it was true. I felt totally relaxed in my whole body and I was so happy.
After having done the registration and having bought the red robe you need to go inside of the meditation resort, it was finally time to go inside. I entered the ”Main Gate” as it’s called and it was just magic, so special, so peaceful, full of energy, Buddha Grove, The Pyramid, the Multiversity, Cafés, restaurants, hundreds of people, the warmth, the birds, swimming pool, tennis court and here I was, in the place I had been reading so much about.
I was dancing, meditating, doing groups, swimming, connecting with people from all around the world and painting. I simply loved being at the meditation resort. This became my home. I came back to myself, the ”true” me without the conditioning. I came back to the dance that I always had loved so much. As a teenager I used to to teach dance but since many years I had stopped. Now I discovered a different dance that was more free and came from inside me.
I learned to trust myself. I came in contact with my life energy, my juicyness, my creativity and my joy.
I ended up staying in Pune 6 months and I have been returning many many times ever since.
I discovered that creativity and joy is within me just like it is within you too!